Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Shelob's Lair

I walked outside into my courtyard last night to put some garbage into the rubbish bins and I walked full face into a massive spider web. Full face.

FULL FACE!

There are banana palms in my neighbour's garden and a couple of the large ones have fronds that lean out and over our adjoining fence. Last weekend I noticed that there was a spider building a web from one of the fronds down and across where I would normally walk. Thinking to myself Oh, this can't be good I cut through the bits of web holding the bottom of it in place, so that i could duck under it to water my pot plants. Since then I've looked to see if the web was there, and a couple of times it has been, but most of the time it hasn't been.

Then last night I was not quite so mindful. The worst thing, previously I had seen the spider and it was a big one.

I danced, I screeched, I basically did a Mia Michaels inspired 'contemporary' dance routine but without music, style or grace.

12 comments:

Michael Guy said...

I sooo had you pegged as a Martha Graham acolyte.

But ish! to that spider! Have you checked yourself carefully for small hidden bites?

Anonymous said...

Bet that scared the life out of the spider... and the ground out there is so uneven, you are lucky you didn't hurt yourself prancing around :)but i am enjoying the image...

The Other Andrew said...

Yah, no surprise bite marks or suddenly necrotic tissue (aside from the usual necrotic tissue, aka 'ageing'). I'm moving with the times, I'm more Wade Robson/Brian Friedman/Mia Michaels these days thanks to "So You Think You Can Dance".

The Other Andrew said...

I'm sure spidey beat a hasty retreat, at least I like to think that because the alternative would be being on me. Not a fan of that option!

Anonymous said...

Lol

Mikey (TLE) said...

Ick! That is one of my worst nightmares. I once kept a huntsman as a pet in a jar (I was, like, 5: very Addams Family). Anyway, after a week or so, I released the spider by opening the jar and trying to shake it out. The spider was having none of that and was quite happy in its jar being fed insects it didn't have to catch for itself. So it decided instead to make its way out of the jar, up my 5yr old arm and into my 5yr old hair... all in about a second. Needless to say, I freaked and have never really gotten over it. I test myself occasionally with films like Arachnophobia and Eight Legged Freaks but it doesn't help... My empathy, or is that sympathy... I can never get those two right

Ur-spo said...

what i hear, spiders in syndney are near equivalent to Shelob in being nasty.
what a fright.

The Other Andrew said...

ur-spo, the real nasty potentially lethal one is a Funnel Web Spider. But they don't make aerial webs, they live in tunnel style lairs in the ground or in crevices. Red Backs are the other nasties, but they live underneath things (like the rims of plant pots etc) and don't make aerial webs either. You are right though, we have some over acheivers when it comes to venomous spiders!

worldpeace and a speedboat said...

oooh TOA, I did The +6 Clunky Dance of Kerrist! A Spider! once at my parent's place. arms laden with pressies on Xmas eve, I walked straight into an enormous Orb web.

arrghghlegharg!


and Mikey, I will never forget us driving to your mum's place when a Huntsman walked across the windsheild and disappeared down into the grill in front of the windscreen wipers... we leapt out of the car when we got there and I reckon we used a whole can of flyspray*, just to make sure...


* yes yes not very nice at all, but neither is the concept of Random Spider While You're Driving.

Mikey (TLE) said...

Ahh, Speedy. Yes I remember that one with a dash of the shuddering horrors.

Good times... good times. Haha!

Miss Wired said...

Hahah! The spider-is-on-me dance is hilarious.

The facial expression really makes it "avante garde" physical art.

Therin of Andor said...

I walked into a huge web at about 11pm one night - walking home from a friend's place - in full Star Trek uniform. I ran the rest of the way and when I checked the bathroom mirror, I was literally shrouded in grey. Ick.

I, too, had noticed Shelob on my way past that morning. She must have spent all day blocking the footpath with her massive web - and no one else happened to wander through it until I returned.