How Does One Recap 13 Years?

I swear I only went to put the kettle on...

Hello again. It's me. Much older and wiser (debatable), and a little battle worn. 

I fell down a rabbit hole of reading blogs this morning, some long abandoned sadly, some still active with a thriving community, and some still active but seeming like a lone voice still telling things to the internet. In reality I'm mostly elsewhere; Facebook, Instagram and BlueSky. Instagram is generally my regular haunt.

I've missed blogging at times, missed the long form storytelling this makes possible, and missed how connected other people's stories made me feel. I'm not sure anyone will read this, but that's ok. I mean, I'd prefer it if someone did, but we all know that blogging has seen its heyday pass. Most of us have shorter attention spans now. Dopamine habits that must be obeyed.

I have an ulterior motive, and this might scare you off, but I have some conversations I need to have with the Universe about cancer. Not only, but there will be some posts about cancer. Anyone still here? Yeah I know, it's a lot. I KNOW. Anyway, it won't be doom and gloom because I'm not made that way, but I do need to wrangle my thoughts and writing them down helps. 

Having said that, here's a quick list of major things that have happened over the past 13 years, in a totally eccentric and arbitrary order:

• Travel. Starting in 2015 I visited Portugal & Spain (2015), Italy (2016), Canada (2017), Greece (2018), Spain & Portugal again, but different parts (2019). I was booked to visit Egypt in 2020 but Covid happened and everything was cancelled. Other things over the past 4 years prevented me from travelling [cancer foreshadowing!], but then I visited Japan this year in 2025. Travel is good for the mind and the soul, and I hope to do more of it still. Maybe I'll get to Egypt one day.
• For almost 6 years now I have been in a relationship with a wonderful man called Thomas. He's kind, gentle and crazy tall at 6'4", a full foot taller than me. He's also handsome as all get out, and that's not just my biased opinion. As we say in this country, I'm punching above my weight.
• I started working in a University in 2011, and in 2023 I was retrenched. Which was kind of great, actually. They were very good to me while I was unwell [more foreshadowing] and I walked away with enough to live on for about a year and a half, which helped me enormously.
• I turned 60, and as we are allowed in Australia I accessed my superannuation to pay myself a pension. It might not be forever, I might try and return to work, but being 60 and re-entering the workforce is daunting and seems like an insurmountable task. In the meantime I'm resting and looking after my health.
• Sadly my sister Fiona passed away, after a very long and very tough battle with Crohn's Disease.
• I registered a business name to make millinery items for sale, but hats... in this economy? I made a few hats and still might pursue it, but the timing is tough and everyone's wallets are tight.
• I had to move house 3 times, as places I was renting were sold by the landlords. I'm about to move again, but this time Thomas has bought an apartment so this should be my last move.
• In early 2021 I discovered I had prostate cancer, and then 2 weeks later I discovered I also had thyroid cancer. It was during a Covid lockdown here in Sydney and it was difficult, and lonely at times, but I got through it and am now minus a prostate and a thyroid. I also had radiation treatment for both.
• Earlier this year I discovered that my PSA (Prostate Specific Antigen) went from undetectable post surgery, as expected, to slowly climbing again, meaning that some rogue prostate cancer cells were out and about in my system. I now know that I have a wee small babby tumour in a lymph node in my abdomen, so I recently started treatment to stop it from growing. I might also have some more radiation at some point to try and pew pew it out of existence.

I think those are the main points we need to cover, and some I might write about in more depth. 

I'm doing well, maybe a little directionless at present as I've been spending a lot of time on heath related matters and haven't started enjoying retirement fully yet. I've reacted quite well to my new treatment regime, and I've recently started losing weight, so everything feels positive. I'm looking forward to making a home with Tom, even though we currently already live together, but it feels hard to put down permanent roots in a rental. I look forward to exploring our new suburb of Hurstville, and it'll be my first time outside of Sydney's 'Inner West' in decades.

5 Things About Thursday, 18th October 2012: Creature of Habit Edition

• I decided today that it was time to revive a good habit I used to have, so since this morning I'm the proud possessor of a tiny, spiral bound, pocket notebook. Mainly it's for a list of books that sound interesting, and websites which have proved (or promised) to be. Should the occasional Grand Idea fall in there too then that would be a good thing. I had one of these that I carried around for years, and slowly filled with interesting author names and book titles I saw reviewed, or heard about, or even saw in a bookshop but had neither the will or lucre to buy at the time. Then whenever I went shopping I would whip it out and have pocket sized inspiration.
• There is something so gratifying about low tech stationery. Ring bindings. Pages that are feint ruled (and preferably faint ruled, also). Pencil sharpeners. Compasses. Stuff.
• I bought my usual 10 trip bus pass during my lunchtime wanderings today, and the guy in the ticket booth has developed a new party trick. As soon as he sees me coming he proudly produces my regular pass with a flourish and a ta! da! smile. Kinda sweet, kinda friendly, kinda... akward, especially given that this is the same guy that once shamed me into wasting money on too many single tickets instead of a 10 trip pass.
• However, for a brief second I've sometimes considered buying some other other odd, probably unusable ticket, just to show I'm not predictable.
• I am not a person who should have nice things. For the second time in my life I have lost my mobile phone, and both times involving taxis and both times the phone has disappeared without a trace. Thankfully it was only a prepaid, but still this is a particularly crap habit to get into.

5 Things About Friday, 25th November 2011: Blood Crazed Zombies of Newtown Edition

• Technically this is about last night, not today, but I stopped to grab a take away burrito last night and I must have made a tiny cut in my lip with the foil wrapping. Ever cut your lip? They bleed like crazy! There's nothing quite like the feeling of realising people in the street are looking aghast at you, only to discover blood dripping all down your chin. Sorry residents of Newtown, rumours that the zompocalypse has begun are overstated!
  
• Speaking of zombies, my sleep problems have plumbed the depths of horribleness this past week. Numerous wake-ups throughout the night have left me feeling like a zombie. I was mildly offended the other night when Peter made a comment about my low energy levels, but I have to admit that he's right. Time to go back on the super strong meds I used to take methinks. Boo! I hated those expensive, nausea inducing little tablets. Nausea, empty wallet and possible liver damage Vs low energy zombiedom. It's my Sophie's Choice.
  
• Today I read in the news that we've been treated to just 45 minutes of sunshine this entire week. This is LATE SPRING. Summer is but a cooee away! There should be children and puppies gambolling in the sunshine. Hotties lying on the beaches. This should be shorts weather. But no, Sydney has been plunged back into cool days (fair play, it's not eactly COLD) and torrential rain. Whoever is responsible, fix it.
  
• Maybe I have Seasonal Affective Disorder? SAD. I haz a SAD!
  
• On the upside (and lest you think mention of said burrito would infer otherwise) I actually dropped a bit more weight this week. Once I got to around the -13.5kgs point a month or two ago I sort of took my eye off the ball a bit, and relaxed my attitudes to food. What was really reassuring was that I haven't gained any weight at all since then. So the past few days I've generally been a bit more disciplined, burrito breakout nothwithstanding, and as of this morning I passed the -14kgs mark. Woohoo!

5 Things About Friday, 4th November 2011: The Power of Tools Edition

• I was awake and ready to leave home quite early this morning, so I walked around to a nearby cafe and bought a muffin and a cup of coffee, and lingered over them at a picnic table in an adjacent park. An excellent way to start the day, although I could have happily sat there for much more of the morning and skipped the whole 'going to work' thing entirely.
  
• I used to do the big Samurai (hai, yah!!) Sudoku puzzles from the weekend papers quite regularly, so with pencil in hand I sat down on the bus to knock one over rated Easy. Easy, like hell. Maybe I've somehow lost my sudoku chops through attrition, but the thing is sitting in my bag still quietly judging me. I choose to believe they mislabelled it, actually.
  
• For some reason I felt inspired to buy a paper journal today. Not the lined Dear Diary style journal (with dinky easy-to-jimmy-open lock), but one full of neat little crisp, white, A5, ready to be written/drawn/pasted upon pages. A visual diary made by both Messrs Windsor and Newton. There's been a bit of a lack of creativity in my life of late, and I'm thinking I might give keeping an art journal a go.
  
• Not that I need any encouragement to loiter in a stationery store, slack jawed, ready to spend a fortune on all of the Precious Things. Thankfully what the university campus store lacks in range it makes up for in reasonable prices.
  
• After work plans today include swinging by KMart to buy a cordless drill. My first power tool! (Quelle butch.) Time to fully dismantle and chuck out the old beaten up outdoor table in my courtyard, in preparation for the warmer Spring/Summer weather. (Which may or may not happen, the way things are going I'm not fully convinced. It's been a cool, wet Spring so far.)

5 Things About Wednesday, 5th October: Tumbling Edition

• In merrie olde England one of the most feared diseases was known as The Falling Sickness. Whilst I certainly don't have that, just lately I do seem to have caught the knack for falling down. Twice in the past few days I've taken a tumble, including falling UP the stairs at work this morning after misjudging a step. I saved the iPod but bashed a few fingertips (and my pride) in the process.
  
• Yes I did have a brief and appropriate earworm this morning of I'll Tumble For Ya by Culture Club.
  
• What age do you have to be before the word "fall" gains a capital letter? You go from having a fall, to having a Fall. I guess it's maybe less about age and more about consequences?
  
• It's only a short week this week, but I'm still celebrating hump day.
  
• I'm into the second week of a 5 week job change, relieving for an admin staff member who has gone on leave overseas. It's still technically part of my department, but I'm stationed in a different part of the university, at a different desk. Here's the thing, I hate the desk and chair set-up. Especially the tilt on the chair which some days makes my back a bit groany. So do I a) change everything to suit me and incur the potential gripes of the returning owner (a known curmudgeon), or b) tough it out? Which could be the lesser of the two evils?

Monday Snippets

Today I'm mixing it up a little. If you've read this blog for even a little while (like, er, since last Wednesday in fact) you'll know that I love my lists of 5 Things. Love! Them! I could write you a list of 5 things I love about 5 Things. But today I'm gettin' loose. I'm throwing out the rules! No loose themes for today. And why only 5 things anyway? 5's not the boss of me. I'm too wild for those sorts of rules, man.

So today is all about the the snippet.

It's official, my work has been extended past my finish date of 9th September, and I'll now be putting food on the table, and buying reasonably priced clothing from a certain large Spanish retailer with which I am borderline obsessed, until the end of October. Yay. It means a relocation to another part of the University, where the largely male workforce wear rugged 'workwear' and lift heavy electronic things, which you know can't be all bad, right?

Next weekend is Birthday Weekend, and the best gift of all is that Peter has the entire weekend free of work commitments. You know how there are some gifts you just can't wait to unwrap?

I've gone down another trouser size, and now fit into the two pairs of Aspirational Trousers that have been quietly judging me from the darkest recess of the wardrobe. One pair has never been worn, and still had the price tag on them. (They were aspirational even when I bought them, on sale, a few years back.) See hoarders, never throw anything away.

I read a report in the paper today that said sitting at a desk all day is as bad for your health as smoking is. It raises interesting questions about the outdoor 'ciggie break'. Clearly some of my co-workers, who are never at their desks and favour the long, languid smoke-o vs the quick nip outside for a gasper, are actually just looking after their health. It's a world gone mad.

Spring is in the air. I bought fresh flowers for the house the other day. My sweet pea plants that I planted in Winter and which have been growing at a slacker's pace have suddenly started a growing spurt. Short pants. Jacket free days. Hallelujah!

[Oh crap, that's 5 isn't it?]

5 Things About Wednesday, 24th August: Cube Farm Edition

• The crushing disappointment of finishing your trip into the office, sitting down at your desk, and lifting the lid on your coffee... to find the normally reliable cafe (which every morning remembers both your name and your order) has given you the wrong coffee.
  
• Then finding the silver lining in the form of an opportunity to suck up to the boss, who likes a free cappucino very much indeed, as it turns out.
  
• I sit a glass panel and narrow walkway away from the staff break room, and fyi the tech guys in our area take the longest breaks, have the filthiest mouths, and the dullest anecdotes.
  
• I work in a very multicultural office, and from about 11.30am until around 3pm it's a constant parade of delicious Thai/Chinese/Indian/Middle Eastern smells. Even the Aussie guy who regularly makes toasted cheese sandwiches in the sandwich press manages to make it smell yummers, but maybe that's just my diet talking.
  
• It's working again today (hello, web surfing) but yesterday our intranet web server crashed, which meant that all the software applications I use (all of which are web based) were offline. I filed. I tidied. I looked out the window. I made lists. I washed my mug, twice. I've had marginally more productive days.

5 Things About The Weekend That Was: Unclenching & Unfurling Edition

• Spring is a whole month away yet, but the weekend was mild and glorious here in Sydney. It's only a teaser trailer, because in August we usually get a last blast of cold and wet, but it reinforced just how much I am absolutely gagging for the warmth.
  
• I had to grab the camera and go for a walk in the sunshine yesterday afternoon. I admire people whose photography is all about beautiful shadows, darkness and moodiness, but I'm most inspired by light and colour.
  
• When I was depressed earlier in the year I pretty much stopped taking photographs altogether, and maybe it's because I needed to be able to open myself up to seeing all the colour and the light again.
  
• It's official and agreed upon, I have a boyfriend. I even changed my facebook status, which prompted one friend to comment "Wow, it IS serious."
  
• On Saturday morning Peter and I were sitting at a cafe in the sunshine, drinking coffee, chatting and watching dogs play in the sun, and I was stroking his back and the thought that entered my head was "my heart is full". What a curious old year it's been. From feeling like my poor little wounded heart was a clenched fist in my chest, to feeling it slowly unclench and open up to the point where I made room for someone else. I had to do it, I worked at it, and it feels like quite the achievement.

5 Things About Thursday 21st July: Deluge Edition

• It's been bucketing down with rain here for most of the past few days. Everything feels sodden and dreary, and yes that's my socks I'm talking about in particular.
  
• McGuyver Moment - After some strong wind gusts on the way to work this morning a bunch of the threads holding my umbrella's cover in place parted leaving me essentially with a metal contraption and a piece of flapping fabric. 2 minutes of studious application and 1 office stapler later and it should at least hold long enough for me to get home tonight.
  
• Next I might attempt cold fusion with a water bottle, 2 bulldog clips, some white-out and my mobile phone recharger.
  
• So that you don't think this winter has been all dreary and without rays of sunshine, as of last night I could fit back into my old 31" Levi 501s. (With a slight bit of sucking it in, but without the need for lubrication or heavy machinery.) Hell. Yes. As of this morning I'm under 71kgs.
  
• Speaking of rays of sunshine, I met the loveliest, sexiest man a week and a bit ago. (And he's probably blushing right now because he reads this blog.) It's all very new, and we haven't been able to spend a lot of time together yet because of conflicting work schedules, but we have the entire weekend coming up to spend together. And somehow I don't think we'll particularly care if the rain continues.

5 Things: The I've Been Dieting Like A Bastard & Lost 9kgs, No Really That's Like Almost 20 lbs, Edition

• Unpredictability. Just when you think you’re going to ace a good result bam! a small gain, and conversely sometimes a weekend of drinking and carousing with only moderate self control is rewarded with a loss. I’ve learned to be sanguine about day to day fluctuations, it’s the forward momentum that counts. And I suspect it means The Universe smiles upon drinking and carousing.
  
• Suspense. (See unpredictability.) Seriously, the only way the wait for the numbers on the scale could get any more suspenseful would be if my life cut away to an ad break just before I found out if I’m going to be above the yellow line.
  
• Reward. It’s what I do. Rewards can be given for a) round numbers, b) odd numbers, c) percentages (-10% of my original starting weight was rewarded with retail therapy at Zara), d) for encouragement and e) on a whim.
  
• Pride. All kidding aside, I’ve stuck with it even when I was jonesing for a pizza, or any number of other squidgy high fat delights, and both the numbers and vast reduction in belly don’t lie. My all round health is better too, especially important stuff like my blood pressure. For all of the above I’m proud of what I’ve achieved.
  
• Smugness. I’m trying not to be, but I have moments of smug.

5 Things About Tuesday, 16th November 2010: Forwardslash End Tag Edition

• After sleeping poorly for the past few nights I took half a sleeping pill last night and had a bizarre tossy, turny, fugue state sort of night's 'sleep'.
• Consequently I got out of the wrong side of the bed this morning. Then got back into bed, got out of the other even wronger side of the bed, contemplated whether the foot of the bed could be considered a third 'side', and then decided no, my mood was probably bad enough as it was and turned to snarl at the day.
• Because the Universe hates me back, for penance I spent most of the day uploading new products to the company website, a process that involves manually writing more html tags than anyone should ever have to write.
• Dinner was nice. I'm clearly an emotional eater.
• Do you know that if you Google image search on the text Jon Hamm trouser bulge you get some pretty substantial results.

5 Things About Tuesday, 6th of July: Bad Puss! Edition

• Fewer experiences can be compared to waking in the wee small hours of the morning to find teeth being sunk into your wrist. (Nothing Anne Rice/Stephanie Meyer about it, but in preparation for cat sitting for a friend next weekend I spent the night in her spare room last night and ouch, that's a bad, bad kitty indeed.)
  
• I spent all day today methodically, endlessly, stultifyingly, adding the next 6 months worth of classes to our store's website. Copy. Paste. Edit dates. Save. Rinse. Repeat.
  
• Consequently I spent a half hour fiddling with the window displays, just to feel human again. A small dose of pretty, but it was enough.
  
• The perfect antidote to a dull day was dinner tonight (and a bottle of red wine) with a dear old friend/ex boyfriend.
  
• Walking home through the cold night, still warmed by wine and the long goodbye kiss lingering on my lips, rugged up in my big winter coat and a scarf I knitted a while back, was actually quite pleasant. There are worse ways to end a winter's Tuesday night.
  

5 Things About Thursday, 10th June: Blockage Edition

• Much of today I spent being mildly aggravated by my glasses, which seemed to be suddenly and inexplicably ill fitting. On the way home I finally took them off to see if one of the arms was bent or something (because the only other thought that crossed my mind was that my face was suddenly lopsided), and I've lost one of the little nose pad thingies. Bugger.
  
• Of all the things I've loaded on my iPod, it struck me today that two 70s disco compilations are by far the two CDs that get listened to the most. You can take the boy out of the 70s, but you can't take the 70s out of the man.
  
• I bought a set of digital bathroom scales on the way home tonight. I'm pretty certain that I've been packing on the pounds lately (or all my pants have shrunk), and I need to a) find out how dire the situation has become and b) start fixing it.
  
• I haven't been able to bring myself to put the batteries in it yet. Baby steps, m'kay?
  
• I arrived home to find a note on the crapper bog toilet lavatory from my flatmate. Part plaintive wail and part cautionary tale that the toilet was blocked and a plumber was required. Oh puny mortal, you underestimate my plunger-fu. Like so many things in life, 5 minutes of enthusiastic pumping and it was all over.
  

5 Life Lessons I Have Learned By Teaching Knitting*

• No matter how hard you try, some people will just NOT GET IT. Not even if you beseech them.
  
• One (ie: me) needs to acknowledge this fact and move on, without throwing one's arms around their legs and screeching How have I failed you!?!
  
• Others will really, really get it. Bzzzzzzzzzp! Ok, I've knitted 20 rows, now what?!
  
• Either position can turn perfectly functional adults into being a kid again. Dejection or pride, pretty much 2 sides of the same coin.
  
• I always start the class by teaching a simple slip knot. This is functional, but also highlights the Will Gets v the Will Probably Not Gets. From this I have learned that maybe I should start giving all potential suitors some sort of test. (Not the same one though because then I might only get guys into S&M.)
  

*A beginners' class at work, for 3 hours every second Saturday afternoon.

5 Good Things About Being An Un(der)employed Slacker After Dropping From 2 Part-time Jobs To 1

• Only having to put on big boy pants and polished shoes 2 days of the week.
  
• Breakfast at 10.30, am or pm
  
• Bandwidth maximization! For once that 2am to 12noon "off peak" bonus my isp gives me is getting a workout. When the pennies are tight it's all about value for money, people.
  
• Do you even know how much self pleasuring one can do in an 8 hour day? [High five!] Frankly. even I'm shocked.
  
• Um, be right back!

5 Things Found Rolling Around In The Bag I Carry To Work: Ewww, What's THAT? Edition

• 3 biros from The Big Christian Charity where I used to work. They sit nicely in the hand, write well, and given that they ordered 1,500 of them with the wrong phone number on them, not stolen. I actually had to stay "Stop! I have enough pens at home!".
  
• But the packets (2 sizes, 1 each) of Post-Its are definitely stolen a Gift With Toil from some workplace or other.
  
• A packet of blood pressure pills with no actual pills in it. Likewise a purse pack (whatever) of aloe vera tissues with no actual aloe vera tissues in it.
  
• A $9.95 radio, bought from a novelty/bits of everything shop in Little Vietnam in Bankstown. Amazingly it works ok, and kept me company on the lonely hours I was archiving files in the bowels of more than one bank branch.
  
• Old payslips. Old bills. (Paid, I think. Yeah, I'm sure. I'm fairly sure. I mean nothing has been cut off or disconnected yet.) Old fliers for various things. Apparently there was a food fair in March that sounds like it would have been good.
  

Indulgence

Oh my gah, I'm pooped.

• Many, many beers on Friday during a Most Excellent night out.
• Four and a half hours sleep and then up for work on Saturday at the yarn store.
• A long, torturous train ride home thanks to my Arch Nemesis (aka CityRail) doing PLANNED track maintenance, a fact they like to stress lest you think they were lurching from self induced crisis to self induced crisis.
• A train ride that ate up most of my potential nap time before going out Saturday night to a very fun event called Underground Underbear (so named for a) the basement venue and b) the large number of hirsute/stocky men in their underwear) where many, many more beers were consumed.
• Finally to today, waking up waaaay too early after a very late night, catching up with my friend Judy, going to knitting at the pub as per usual and then meeting friends at another pub and having dinner.

Total alcohol consumed today, one light beer. Even I have my limits.

5 Things About Tuesday, 1st Of September: Cube Farms & Meerkats Edition

• I spent my second day gastarbeit-ing in what feels like the world's biggest cube farm. Imagine a giant, cavernous aircraft hanger sized space, plonk in a serious of free standing 'facility hubs' (2 toilets, 1 kitchenette, 2 meeting rooms, 1 vending machine), hang some peppy inspirational signage like "Innovation Happens Here!" (gag) and fill with thousands of workstations. Noisy and impersonal were 2 thoughts that sprung to mind, and every now and then I would see clusters of people standing around in the 'corridors' or perched in between workstations, and realised they were having team meetings. Ugh, whoever thought this was the workplace of the future?
  
• Although the partitions were only low so there was no need to meerkat anybody, it was also maze-like. Kind of like being in Canberra, you can see where you need to get to... you just can't find the way to it.
  
• Tragedy struck, I got on the train (for a fairly long pair of train rides) without a book to read. This error in judgement never happens! Thankfully I dug around in the bottom of my bag and lo, there was a half finished, somewhat vintage sudoko. Distraction crisis averted.
  
• First day of Spring! Which also coincides with Birthday Week, a week I am curiously low key about this year. Meh.
  
• Of course, I say that now. Just wait until I'm all me, me, me, me, me bitches on Friday.

Currently Loving

a) Lisa Reagan's track "Al'infini (Project Runway Re-Mix)". So called because her track "Al'infini" was remixed and used as the music for Wendy Pepper's runway show in the finale of the first season of the U.S. "Project Runway" tv show. [You can listen to an mp3 here.]

b) Cowboys!


c) And Indians!


d) Dill pickles. (Unrelated to the above.)

e) Glam rock!

f) Elizabeth Knox's new novel The Angel's Cut, the very enjoyable sequel to The Vintner's Luck. Even though the novel has a cool, sometimes almost detached, emotional tone much of the time I think the format of the novel escapes some of the issues I felt with the first book (the abbreviated chapter format, where each chapter was a one day visit on the same annual anniversary). Plus what's not to love about gay angels, the Roaring 20's, airplane stuntmen and the early golden days of cinema?

5 Things About Wednesday, 19th August: Fabric And Other Forms Of Strain Edition

• Instead of my usual 'walk up to the train station and catch the train into the city' routine, this morning I decided to take a bus instead. Adventure! Oh, and I say A BUS rather than THE BUS because that would imply the bus I wanted actually arrived.
  
• During lunch I sat next to a young Chinese couple. They ate McDonalds and I ate Chinese. I guess the grass is always greener?
  
• My last customer of the day was a very pretty young woman who could not stop sniffing. I'm not talking the occasional sniff here, I'm talking relentless, I'm-sorry-I'm-trying-to-concentrate-on-selling-you-this-knitting-yarn-and-needles-but-frankly-I'm-imagining-smacking-you-too-much-to-really-pay-attention sniffing. Just as she was leaving, she pulled out a tissue and blew her nose. Gee, thanks.
  
• Shortly after arriving home I split the zip on my trousers. a) good timing! and b) seriously, could I be any more hung?
  
• Sadly, yes.