Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Monday, August 30, 2004

Weekend In A Nutshell

The upside:
  • My new Esprit shirt. Summery, 'Slim Fit' and not stretched too tight across the belly = next weekend Birthday Party Wear. Teamed with the Package Enhancement Jeans it should be some potent mojo.
  • Sunday afternoon birthday get together for Karrine at her house. It rained, so the courtyard was off limits but I had a good time, even without alcohol. I know, shock.
  • Tearing up during the Wildcards show of 'Australian Idol'. Although this made me hate myself, thoroughly.
  • A tamed backyard. Weeds be gone!

    The downside:
  • Still fat. Well, not FAT!, but fat. You know what I'm saying?
  • How hard can it be to buy a damn tube of John Frieda's 'Upbeat' styling cream in this godforsakentown?!
  • 'Metro Fit' shirts. Whatthefuh? Apparently it is New Urban Speak for slim fitting. (Although this has given me a new euphemism to use. "I feel fat, I used to be so 'metro' you know?" or "Get her, she's smoking Virginia Metros.")
  • Thursday, August 26, 2004

    Beam Me Up, Martha

    I just sprayed water all over my keyboard, and almost peed myself with hysterics.

    Ever thought the USS Enterprise needed something like decoupaged end tables to freshen it up? Well then you need to go here and select 'Galactic Martha'.

    Wednesday, August 25, 2004

    Daunted, Thy Name Art Andrew

    Last night I attended the information night for the second module of the two year Discovering Buddhism course I've started.

    In amongst the notes and reading material lists etc that I collected last night was a topics and requirements list for the rest of the two year course. I was reading it with interest, thinking to myself 'dum dee dum, this looks interesting, la la la' when I got to the outline of last couple of modules...

    Um, do the words three month retreat and 100,000 prostrations sound as daunting to you as they do to me? Oh cool, just checking.

    So far just doing the first module and a one day retreat has been quite transformative, so I'm hoping that by the time I get to those two last modules I'm quite a different person. Because I can tell that where I am now, three months of retreat sounds hellishly hard.

    Friday, August 20, 2004

    Vogon Spam Poetry

    Tucked into the spam poem in a delightful little email from Valerie Jarvis (offering me "NO MORE PAYING For Your Pay-Per-View" - thanks Val!) was this little gem:
    "prick hierarchal inland alderman"

    Who is this alderman who lives inland, and why is he such a heirarchal prick?

    Wednesday, August 18, 2004

    At Least It Isn't That Weird "Izzy" Thing From The Atlanta Games

    Last night we were discussing the Olympic mascots, and nobody could actually name or describe what they were this time around. Now I know why.

    Is it just me, or are they a little, you know, ugly?

    Given that the current Greek Olympian scandal, and the number of drug cheats that have already been caught, this piece of hyperbole seems particularly amusing:
    "They are two children who show us, through their love of play and their love of the game, that the important thing is taking part and not the result."

    Yeah, right.

    Friday, August 13, 2004

    Me, In A Nutshell

    It has been years since I did a Myers-Briggs personality test, so long ago in fact that I don't even remember what I tested as. Apparently, as of today I am:

    ENFP - "Journalist". Uncanny sense of the motivations of others. Life is an exciting drama. 8.1% of total population.
    Take Free Myers-Briggs Personality Test

    I'd say that come pretty close to the truth.

    Can I Expense That?

    The accounting firm I work for has a pornographer as a client, who publishes a couple of... well let's call them 'niche market' magazines.

    Does anyone else think that Phone Sex as an expense account is amusing? OK, just checking.

    Things To Be Thankful For

    On Friday the 13th, here's a list of things I'm thankful for today:
  • Last night's packed out (and thoroughly demented) Talent Show at the Newtown Hotel, hosted by the ever popular Miss Vanessa Wagner. Drag with humour and a conscience y'all.
  • Mikey's company. Welcome back to Sydney pet, I couldn't ask for a better ex boyfriend.
  • L'Occitane lemon verbena soap. It may not be summer yet, but it can sure as damn well smell like it.
  • Speaking of the change of seasons, there is a definite whiff of Spring in the air. Huzzah.

    ...and because every coin has a flip side, today I'm not so happy about:
  • Headaches, and I wasn't even drinking alcohol last night.
  • My previously mentioned Arch Nemesis, City Rail. To quote my friend Meaghan, they couldn't organise a fuck in a brewery, or a piss-up in a brothel.
  • I'm Changing My Name To 'Lance'

    My sweet, sweet ex boyfriend is buying me a bicycle for my upcoming 40th birthday! I'm very excited about the whole thing, I mean there will be shoes, a hat (of sorts) and some slick cycle drag to be had. I am always, and ever will be, about the accessories. We started looking at some bikes, and it looks like I'll be getting something seriously sleek and light. I'm not worthy.

    One thing I had never thought about this whole bike purchasing thing, some of the salesmen are obviously keen cyclists themselves, and we are talking high hotness quotient.

    The only problem is, I have never even tried to drive a car and haven't ridden a bike for something like 10 years or more. I'm guessing it might be a good idea to learn the road rules. I'm a little paranoid about riding on the busy streets of Sydney, but I figure I'll take it easy at first and not tackle the busy streets if I can help it.

    If you see someone on a cool looking bike nervously trying to figure out who has the right of way, be sure and say 'Hi' won't you.

    Friday, August 06, 2004


    In the market for some stylish new threads?

    The only problem is, I can't decide which look is more me. Pimp or Ho? Discuss.