'Tis The Season

Sorry for the lack of posting lately, I've had a really rough past couple of weeks and although I'm not shy about talking about the good and the bad, I've been really flat and unmotivated. Thankfully, thankfully, things are on the improve. I'm still under-employed and not actually earning enough to even pay my rent at present (oops), but I'm about to head off for a few days to visit my sisters in Ballarat and I'm making a concerted effort not to think about the stressful stuff for the next few days.

Avoidance I can manage. Easily. In fact I've kind of been avoiding the whole Christmas thing this year. There are few stresses like feeling you have obligations or the desire to do things, and just not having the cash to do it. So I have basically avoided all social events over the past few weeks. If you are a 'real world' friend of mine, consider this an open apology if I didn't show up to something recently.

My sisters clubbed together and bought me a ticket to go and see them for Christmas, so I'm off tomorrow until the evening of the 28th. Now that we have agreed that I'm only buying gifts for my two nephews (even though that sucks because I love buying gifts, and even better wrapping them!) the stress has at least been eased somewhat. So tomorrow's plan is to try and get a bit of Christmas cheer happening.

I hope you all have a great Christmas/Holidays season, and I'll catch you sometime around the 28th!

Apostrophe Catastrophe

I admit to being a bit of a pedant about apostrophes. Not saying that I get it right myself 100% of the time (I would cop to 99.8% though) but I keep seeing this particular gem cropping up more and more.



"Your" versus "you're". In this instance it's from a clip from the second season of "Project Runway Australia". The tricky old apostrophe of contraction. "Don't". "Can't". "It's". And in the old days, before falling largely out of use, "'phone" or "'bus" even.

Every time I see someone type "your stupid!" on a bulletin board I feel like asking "their stupid what?"

Wednesday Is Made Of Fail

I figured I would put that right out there in the header, so you could swing by this entry if you wish. I haven't had a great day today. I shall therefore vent.

I called in dead to work today, which normally would make for an ok (at least) day. However, then I decided that since I finished the first round of antibiotics and after leaving this chesty cough to do its own thing for a number of weeks now, and discovering that 'its own thing' is apparently not getting any better, I should visit my doctor. My doctor who you normally you have to plan to be sick like 3 weeks in advance, in order to get an appointment to see her.

Anyhoo, my BFF the receptionist (who sometimes 'forgets' to charge me, bless her) squeezed me in where my doctor's lunch break would normally be. Now, my doc often runs over schedule. She never rushes, never has one eye on the clock, and takes as long as she needs with you. However it can mean that by 12.20 she was already running over an hour behind schedule. Mmmm, irritating but I had a book and some 3 month old issues of Time magazine (Obama!) to see me through, and frankly I was just glad to get an appointment. So examination finally had, diagnosis made (chest still congested + a cracker of a sinus infection), scrips handed over and I finally got out of there mid afternoon.

I decided to go into the city and claim the money I paid for my sleep meds, so I went into the private health insurance office, took my ticket, waited in line and saw a perfectly lovely woman about my meds. I'm not covered. Because the pharmacist substituted a brand new generic for the name brand I had previously, it wasn't covered at all. The generic is so new that it wasn't on the approved list for the month of April, it may be in May, but not yet. So I saved $34 dollars on the generic, $100 instead of $134, but I don't get to claim the $45 rebate I normally recoup. Yup, $11 more for the generic in effect. Fabulous!

And then, I made the mistake of going into the new Lincraft store in the city. Lincraft is a chain of fabric and craft stores, once glorious... and now owned by a chain that specialises in what we call $2 Shops. Out went the knowledgeable staff (in fact almost all the staff), the high end fabrics, most of the 'middle' fabrics even, and in came the budget fake furs, the synthetic satins and the junk. Novelty tealight holders. Cheap scratchy towels. HUGE bins of acrylic 'novelty' yarns.

They closed the once fantastic big city store and have just reopened in what seems a temporary site, in the basement of a budget womenswear store. OMG. Cramped and disorganised is an understatement. It took me almost 20 minutes of searching to find the sewing threads, and only because I didn't let the locked door and the sign saying "Beware Of The Leopard" deter me. By the time I went to the check out I was ready to kill, or at least maim.

Of course I jest, but I did almost vault over the register desk when the girl behind the counter overcharged me by $20...

My Christmas Message

Merry Christmas everybody! If you don't celebrate Christmas, or celebrate something else, well I wish you a very merry that too.

Oh, except for Pope Blah Blah The Whatever (I can't even bring myself to look up his correct name and number) I don't wish him anything. And that's because the generousity of the spirit of Christmas moves within me, because otherwise I'd be imagining squeezing his head. Hard. The old man in a dress and pumps gave his Christmas speech the other day and labelled me, and all my queer brothers and sisters, a scourge. Equal in threat to humanity with global warming.

Just how many flamers does it take to warm this globe?

So, I'm having a lovely Christmas morning but I'm also offended and annoyed. On the one hand he's a silly old fart in a dress, but on the other hand he's a silly old fart in a dress that millions of people around the world listen to and look to for guidance. Be on your guard heteros, we're out to get you! You and your procreating ways! Ugh. (Seriously, we want you to breed, someone's got to make more poofs and lezzers.)

So my Christmas message is the anti-Pope message this year. One of the reasons the gay community has embraced the rainbow flag as an emblem is because it takes all the colours of light to make a rainbow. That includes all you Straighty McStraightertons, and all the shades through to my own deepest pink. So think about embracing the concept of otherness this Christmas. Hug a hetero. Embrace a bisexual. Shake hands with a butch. Think about equanimity, and not separating ourselves off from others by the labels we attach to them. Sure, if you get to know them and they turn out to be assholes, well, so be it. At least we all gave them the benefit of the doubt, right?

Just don't let the message of intolerance and judgement spoil your Christmas. If you're a Christian, well maybe spare a prayer for the old man in a dress. A prayer for guidance and tolerance would be a nice place to start.

5 Things About Customer Correspondence: Pushing The Limits Of My Patience & Composure Edition

• Here's the thing. If you are going to complain about something, say an invoice I sent you for example, would you bother to actually read it? Just give it a half-assed cursory glance? (Show of hands please.)
  
• Would you pepper your email with sentences whose grammatical anarchy is such that like a zen koan, or some deep Zoroastrian text, each reading implies a different meaning? Requiring a Rosetta Stone or haruspicy to translate, perhaps?
  
• Although, and to be fair, I must say that it was clear that some of it was apparently questions, as thoughtfully indicated by the string of between 4 and 6 question marks.
  
• Likewise the carefully constructed strings of exlamation marks!!!!!!, some too numerous to count, which I choose to read as enthusiasm.
  
• Would you then freely admit, after 5 emails, when quizzed over the phone, that you probably should have 'read it first'?

::headdesk::

Cranky Ass Bitch Face Bum Of A Day

This is not one of those posts where the title is ironic.



I slept badly, woke up tired and cranky, there was no lanky cuteness on the bus (local or imported), workload was ridiculous, I found out that work is closing for 3 weeks over Christmas (options: 3 weeks over Christmas without income, or find a new job before then)... and... Well, you get the idea. Even being offered 2 pieces of free pizza at lunch failed to fully chip through it. (Although it did help a bit.)

When fatty comfort food has limited effect, that's a bad day my friends.

Anyhoo, the day is over. I made a nice dinner, there's tv and the internet to distract, and a sweet email from a lovely man who lives too, too far away to respond to, and maybe an early night to be had. Tomorrow is another day,

Please Do It At Home

Lately I've been catching more buses than trains, and frankly some of my fellow passengers are starting to get on my nerves. Not, you know, do you know where I can purchase an affordable firearm getting on my nerves, but I'm going to cut you my #2 pissed off look type getting on my nerves. (Number #1 is only used for emergencies.)

Sydney buses are pretty cramped, with narrow seats and a fairly narrow aisle, and if we all played the game and did our bit, behaved like we were ok with sharing and didn't hate all humankind with a passion, then that would be ok. Not optimum, but ok.

Some kids were clearly away the day that Let's Share About Sharing! was on the curriculum, and then avoided grasping the concept as adults. People on a crowded bus who don't want to share that second seat with anyone are my current target. (And by target I mean, take any opportunity I can to call them on their game. Excuse me, I'm gonna sit there.)

They put their bag on the seat next to themselves. They sit on the inside aisle half of the seat and either a) glare in a way that says "oh, don't even" or b) gaze out the window as if they have miraculously not noticed there is only one empty seat left on the whole bus. "I'm not a bad person, I just haven't noticed".



I found these fabbo poster graphics from the Tokyo Metro. Please do it at home. (They're so polite the 'asshole' is implied.)

What do you think? I'm thinking maybe that they are mostly in Japanese might come across as weird, but the graphics and the English translations are pretty self explanatory, right? Oh, craft project! Pasted back to back and laminated like a flip card! Could make a fun gift/conversation starter with fellow passengers!



And if I restrain myself, the 'asshole' will be implied.

I Feel Strangely Validated

I hate, hate, hate the smell of cinema popcorn. Really, it's the big downside of going to the cinema for me. There is something about that fake butter smell that just smells rank to me, enough to make my stomach turn over. One of my favourite bookstores in Newtown is located just outside the entrance to a cinema, and if they are preparing the popcorn I've been known to leave the store because the smell is wafting in. Well, seems like I'm not the only one.

The other thing about popcorn is that it basically tastes like polystyrene, right? I mean, take away any flavourings and it's like the stuff they use to fill boxes of breakables. With the ocassional teeth crunching hard centre...

Social Niceties

My home pc is getting crankier and more passive aggressively belligerent by the day, so I'm sitting in an internet cafe in my neighbourhood. It's filled with the usual mix of Newtownians; a couple of gay boys, some hipster chicks, an old guy checking his emails, and a middle aged woman looking for accommodation online while her dog whines outside on the street. It's really cheap, up to 3 hours of web surfing for $4.40, and consequently pretty busy.

I've come in here a couple of times now over the past week, and each time I've been struck by the behaviour of some people. I mean this is no hushed shrine, no scholarly library or place of learning, but people are trying to do their own thing and concentrate on whatever they are looking at on the web. Yet, loud mobile phone calls, chatting with a friend at a computer across the room, or singing to oneself all seem to be perfectly natural behaviours.

Gah, I sound like an old curmudgeon. Especially because it seems to mostly be the youngsters that have the worst disregard for anyone else. I'm turning into that guy, the one that shoots you a withering look for constantly drumming your fingers on the table, or feels like chiming in to say that maybe Stephanie would enjoy your conversation about Nick more if you took that phone outside.

Is it ageing that's making me notice this stuff more? (And don't even get me started on going to the cinema these days.) Have people become less aware or interested in whether they are bothering others? Or so used to being isolated in their own iPod surround sound cocoons, or watching DVDs at home, that they can sit in a public space and behave like they are in their own home? Or do they fundamentally just not give a toss?

Er, How Much?

I stopped by my specialist late yesterday afternoon for a follow-up to do with the medication I'm taking for my insomnia, and nocturnal restless legs syndrome. The change has been remarkable, since going onto the higher level of medication 4 days ago I've been sleeping much better, feeling more rested, and getting some energy and enthusiasm back. At 3 tablets a night I was churning my way through the pack of 28 tabs quickly, so the doctor has upped the dose slightly to a single 2mg tablet. A pack of the new strength tabs will last me 4 weeks.

Sooooo. Long story short I went to the chemist and ordered the 28 pack of the higher strength tabs, as these meds are so rare that no chemist seems to kep then in stock. I was browsing in the bookshop next door when the chemist called me on my mobile. Last time they warned me the drugs I had then were expensive at $44 a script. This time they rang to say the new script was expensive. I'm thinking, ok what $50 dollars or something?

$130 dollars! For 28 teeny tablets!

Sweet Jebus! I ordered them anyway, because really given the huge difference they make what else am I going to do? At the chemist's suggestion I checked with my private health cover provider and found out that I can claim back $45 of the cost, to a max of $450 a year.

So only $85 a shot! Bargain. I used to think my private health insurance was a cost that amounted to an unnecessary expense, but lately I've revised that opinion...

Disappointments

Ugh, I just got a knock back for a position I applied for and really, really wanted. I'm qualified for it, I could do it easily, the hours and location would have suited me perfectly, and I have done this sort of work in the past. I didn't even score an interview.

I hate this process. Time is running out and I don't seem to be getting anywhere, plus I'm finding it harder than usual to deal with the knock backs. The recruiter I saw isn't returning my calls. The only word for today is ugh.

Thievery! OK, Maybe That's A Little Strong. Lack Of Consideration!

Someone sharp eyed contacted me this morning on the knitting social networking website Ravelry to let me know that a Belgian yarn store is using one of my Flickr photos in their advertising. Nice, right? Like, don't ask me for permission or anything! They didn't even give me credit for the photo either.

I know that this is a risk when you post stuff on Das Internetz, but still it's definately unethical. Somewhat optimistically I assume people will play nice and at least ask for permission. Over the years I have had a few people ask to use my photos, and I have sometimes said yes depending on the nature of the intended use. I would be really annoyed if I made a living from my photos, but then I guess I would have unfortunately had to have take steps to make them less accessible.

Updated:

Proof! The woman who kindly let me know about it, scanned the brochure from the company for me. Low and behold (bottom left), there is my "Coffee & Koigu" pic from last year's Worldwide Knitting In Public Day.




Look familiar?

I think I'm going to pursue this further. I'm pissed off for myself, but looking at the brochure (I just posted a snippet here) it is packed full of photos. But just whose photos?

Conflict

I discovered the joys of interpersonal conflict in the workplace yesterday. (By 'joys' I mean hatefulness, of course.) Ay dios mio. My already sketchy relationship with one of the women in my department descended into outright hostility. I kept it pretty cool and professional with her all day yesterday, even while I felt my blood pressure climb to stratospheric heights. Although at one point I just walked away from her. If she keeps it up I might even lodge a formal Greivance against her (note the weighty capital, it's written that way in all our employee literature).

The only problem is that there is a clique of women here who all go down for a cigarette together about 8 times a day, and eat lunch together daily, and both my manager and this woman are part of that group. Frankly, I'm not convinced that I would get a fair hearing.

Anyhoo, ultimately I just need to get out of this place. (My daydreams yesterday included some mental arithmetic of just how long I could survive if I gave 4 week's notice and was paid out for my unnused holiday leave.)

I went to that interview with the recruiter on Monday late afternoon. Unfortunately the specific job I was applying for required a driver's licence which I don't have, a fact they neglected to put in the ad. Shame because it would have been perfect for me, even including an element of 1 on 1 software training, something I have done in the past and really enjoy doing. Cest la vie. The super-cute recruiter has kept my resume and said he will definately put me forward for the first vacancy they get in my field, and it was useful to have the interview experience and feedback on my resume.

The hunt continues. Today's work mode is Lying Low And Keeping Out Of Harm's Way.

Squeeeee!

I have a job interview on Monday.

I had a 'supervision' meeting here this morning, an informal appraisal type thing we have once a month, and I found myself watching my boss's mouth move while her words became a string or wah wah wah noises. The upshot being that this dull and not terribly well paid job will in all likelihood continue to be just that forever and ever, amen.

So I jumped on a job listing website and there were heaps of jobs paying $5,000 pa + more than I'm getting now. Jobs I could do. I rang one of the recruiting firms and they have three jobs I might be suitable for, and I'm going in to see them on Monday.

Fiesty

I had a big fight with my boss last night, about a half hour before we finished for the day. Huge. Normally I would just take it on the chin, but yesterday I was a bit tired and grumpy by day's end and it was in part just bad timing. After 15 minutes of tooing and froing it ended with me fixing him with the death stare that has been known to halt small children in their tracks, and me saying to him "Nothing you have just said has convinced me that I was wrong."

Oh-kay. You could have cut the contempt with a knife.

I was annoyed because it was another example where he assumed we did wrong, when in fact I hadn't, and rather than checking the facts and standing up for us, his staff, he sided with the person that had a half-baked problem with our service.

Anyhoo, the weird thing is is that today it's like nothing ever happened. "Morning!"

I so need a new job. Or a new manager.

Rantalicious

I had a day in a training course yesterday, and so it was kind of nice to be away from the office for a day. Except, since walking into the office this morning it has been one damn annoyance after another. Both phone lines ringing off the hook, accusations that I haven't done something (something that, as it turns out, I wasn't asked to do in the first place), people hovering around waiting to ask me questions while I'm talking on the phone.

Gah. One of those days.

I got so shitty a little while ago that I came ::puts fingers together:: this close to just impulsively quitting this job. Telling them to shove it. It's official, I do not want to be here. I need to reign it in though because realistically I'm in a bind. Double rent, medical bills and other bills mean that I cannot afford to give up this regular income.

Just breathe. Think of the happy place. Puppies. Kittens. Hugh Jackman in a pair of speedos.

And while I'm ranting, this is the 11th straight day of rain here in Sydney and I'm kind of over it.

That is all. So anyway, how are are you?

Toil

I screwed up a bit yesterday and completely forgot I was supposed to be at a training course. Oops. I was in the office earlier than normal, wrote a blog entry, did some work, had a supervision meeting with my senior manager, and then got back to my desk where the woman I share an office with asked me if I was supposed to be at the training course. Um, yeah. Crap! So I flew out the door and got there an hour late. Thankfully it wasn't a problem.

Of course now I have to try and meet the deadlines I missed yesterday.

Urgh. Wanna trade lives? No, really?

It Pays To Shop Around

Wow, after a tip off by one of my workmates I just saved myself nearly $200 in medical expenses by changing my abdominal ultrasound appointment to a different office of the same organisation. WTF? If I have the ultrasound done near my home I have to pay around $200 up front (from $180 to $220 was the estimate), but if I have it done at a different office of the same medical imagining company (one near my work, where I happened to even get a more convenient appointment time) the entire thing is covered by Medicare with no upfront charge.

I'm pleased and annoyed at the same time. Sure I would have eventually gotten a percentage of the fees reimbursed, but it still makes me wonder how many people are shelling out big bucks for a service they could be getting without any upfront charges. Outrageous.

Does Not Compute

Oh my dears. I was feeling reasonably upbeat this morning when I sat at my desk and turned on my computron. Ugh, was.

(I say reasonably upbeat because I'd had a bit of a weird weekend. I had a really nice time at a function on Saturday afternoon, got rather drunk and spent the rest of Saturday night sobering up. In fact I promised my friend Graeme I'd write a blog post about Saturday but I'm not in the right headspace at the moment.

Then I went to my regular knitting group on Sunday and nobody showed up, so I got kind of shitty and frustrated and ended up feeling like I'd wasted an entire afternoon. In fairness the knitting group is one of those drop-in things that people come and go at, so I didn't have a real right to be ticked off, but the reality is that sitting alone at a table for 6 for 45 minutes in a crowded beer garden, while everybody else who is looking for a table gives you the stink eye, is officially no fun.)

Anyhoo, back to today. So after posting my previous post early this morning about the GLBTI Blogger Meet I started a task here at work that is so mind numbingly tedious and frustrating that if I actually told you in detail, well all your synapses would simulatneously explode in misguided attempt at self-preservation.



The short description is to do with Income & Expenditure reports, with us carefully informing our head office of where each item we bank needs to be allocated, and with them apparently shredding everything we send them and then randomly reassembling them into something that uses the same source material, but bears no relation to the spirit (or meaning) of the original. My task is kind of like looking at the original and looking at the end result and trying to reconcile the two. Fun!

I think my own synapses started committing hari-kiri some hours ago...

Improved Forecast

Never underestimate the power of a good cathartic cuss, or three.

Um, I'll buy a vowel please.

I'm in a bit of better place today than yesterday. First off I had a better night's sleep last night, which certainly helps the overall outlook. I've also received confirmation that my holiday leave for next week has been approved (Hell yeah!), and I had a couple of chats with some of the managers to unload and let them know how unhappy I am about the work deadline situation. Lastly I got the ball rolling on the house renovations, by organising some painters to come and give me quotes early next week. The sooner that is done the sooner I can get the housemate situation sorted.

Also, at the end of this week my friend Robbie is in town again from Melbourne, so it'll be nice to end off a rough week by catching up with him for dinner and a few beverage items.

So all in all, a little brighter outlook today.

[Photo via the fabulous Hilly Blue.]