I was determined to write positive entries today, after the "I'm sick, woe is me" attitude of the past 4-5 days. But, that wouldn't be a true reflection of where I'm at now. I'm angry. Today is going badly.
I've got work and non-work deadlines, and people breathing down my neck. I'm tired and have to go to night school after work. I'm still not feeling well, even though I'm much better than I was. I've had a couple of hard to interpret (and perhaps slightly judgemental sounding) emails from friends that have pushed my buttons. Aaaaaargh! I feel like I want to scream or break something right now.
I've just typed out about 4 different versions of the same sentence and deleted them all. Apologising to you for feeling this way. For writing this. That is so me. Wanting to put on the make nice face, and feeling a bit embarrassed at being thought of as anything less than capable. I know it's deadlines, pressure, a touch of jealousy and illness that are making me feel like this, but even though it'll all be blown over by tomorrow for now it is what it is.