It's true. Ok, maybe not the all his fault part, but the rest it certainly true. Yikes. Alcohol is bad, 'mkay?
We had a blast of a time last night. Fire codes be damned, they packed more 'mos and lezzers into The Newton Hotel than ever before. Just blinking involved several "'scuse me"s and an apology. The amateur performers all behaved themselves and kept their privates off parade, avoiding the need for the drag host Vanessa Wagner to dash across with her special sign - a heavily pixellated penis. (Trust me, as a sight gag it worked.)
Sadly the same could not be said for the mature aged lady previously mentioned who (apparently) is a career stripper and was one of the judges. Yes, she flashed the 60+ year old 'gina. Whilst touching her toes. I'm scarred.
The strip acts were fun, some excellent and some tragic, and all used the stripper pole installed on stage to great effect. One cute boy started off in Ninja drag with knives, stripped down to tiny square cut undies, flashed some butt, worked the pole like a demon (the stripper pole that is) and did some hula hoop action. He was also from James's home town, the announcement of which made James exclaim "That's my nephew!" Har! (It wasn't) Another boy came out covered in helium and glitter filled balloons, which he proceded to cut loose and pop in hysterical girly fashion.
Eh, it was a hoot. Of the younger performers the popular style was definately that of new school burlesque. Sexy tough young things with tattoos, and that was just the girls. A couple of them were amazing on the pole, shimmying right up to the ceiling, doing all sorts of 'lay back' and splits type manoeuvers. Very cool. The winner was a woman who did an inspired Flashdance routine, complete with glitter shower and pasties which she actually lit at the end. (Somewhat of a fire risk, now that I think of it.)
The night ended up as so many do, waiting for the songs you picked on the video jukebox at The Imperial Hotel. Which, as it turns out, is akin to waiting for Godot.