Monday, March 12, 2007

Friendship

Sometimes weekends seem to have a recurring theme. Almost as if the planets have aligned, the gods have cast the bones and read the entrails, and all signs point to... [insert here]. Looking back, my theme for the past weekend was friendship.

I've had a bit of a dose of the blues for the past few weeks, the sort of blues that make you feel a bit withdrawn and self absorbed. Sadly, the perfect antidote of connecting with people, laughing, sharing, seems like the hardest thing to achieve at a time like this. Yet it really is the perfect antidote.

Friday night a friend who I've known for almost 30 years, since we were at school together, rang from overseas to catch up. It's been longer than either one of us realised since we last spoke, almost a year and long enough for him to get remarried and have a son. We both talked about the changes in our lives over the past year, and what the future might hold. It's kind of magical having known each other for so long. We've seen so many life changes in each other, and have always been very open with each other. He was one of the first people I came out to and I was one of the few people he could discuss the problems he was having in his first marriage. We've been there as sounding boards for each other for almost three decades now and that sort of shared history is very special.

Saturday afternoon I caught up with one of my photography buddies, a woman who I normally only really get to hang out with in a group. This was one of the few times we've had to just hang out, the two of us, and it was great. We chatted, laughed, gossiped a bit, opened up about stuff going on in our lives, it was really lovely.

A friend I've known for more than twenty years was in town this weekend, and even though we've never had a romantic love between us, we have a deep and loving friendship that I absolutely treasure. We can go 6 months without seeing each other and it doesn't matter a bit. We almost pick up where the last sentence stopped. On Saturday evening we had some beers, a long lovely dinner, and then some more beers... and it was utterly fantastic.

Sunday was my friend Stephen's birthday, and I rang him in Queensland to wish him a happy birthday. Stephen and I are ex boyfriends from many years back, and he is one of the most caring people I know. A gentle soul who puts a lot of energy into maintaining his relationships with people. It was great to talk to him and a perfect way to round out a weekend of connecting with friends.

It was a weekend that delivered exactly what I needed. Opportunitites to feel love and connection. Space to talk about my own problems with people who 'get' me and support me. Perhaps even more importantly, being there for others and being able to provide support for them. To get a sense of perspective.

10 comments:

Craig said...

What a great post! You sound so settled with this weekend. Lots of warm feelings.

Yes! - history between friends is one of the most valuable life buoys around!

Nice to read about your revisiting those welcoming oasises in your journey.

The Other Andrew said...

Thanks Craig! That's true, lots of warm feelings from this weekend. I had been feeling really flat, but like I said it was the perfect antidote! Thanks for the thoughtful comment.

worldpeace and a speedboat said...

hey TOA, lovely post. food for thought as always...

I was in Melbourne for the weekend doing Aveline stuff, which was freaking hard but ended up being really good and positive as well. even though I was so tired (in all the senses you could imagine), being away from home also gave a sense of clarity and a tiny teeny break that I think was needed. and it made me think of all the lovely friends I have. lifted my spirits a bit, it did.

The Other Andrew said...

Oh speedy, that's good. Seems like it really was the weekend for friendship, clarity and the lifting of spirits! Glad to hear it was positive.

Ur-spo said...

that was touching; thank you for this.

emmie johnson said...

A beautiful post on friendship. It does make life worth living, doesn't it? Without my friends i would be a nobody.
Good luck to you and your wonderful friends.
Do drop into my blog on friendship greeting cards for some beautiful e-greeting cards and friendly tips.

Robert said...

I just loved ur post...Friendship stands and walk above all relations on Earth..I dont think anything can be better than this as I myself is too much attached to my friends and love reading such blogs on friendship values...u can share some interest at my blog if u wish...take care :)

Michael Guy said...

My late Father always encouraged me to cultivate as many friends as possible. "You must always have a circle of friends; one or two folks need to be people who you can always count on..." I never questioned his wisdom and try to follow the 'to have a friend one must BE a friend' golden rule.

4-star post, Andrew. Thanks!

Meredith said...

hey was thinking of you, thought I would pop by to say hello. I enjoyed catching up with you too :) xx

The Other Andrew said...

Back at ya lovely lady! We should do it more often. xx