Why not join up for a pilates class, but insist on always pronouncing it so it rhymes with 'pirates'? Pie-lates. Oh, even better, show up for your first class in full pirate drag, eye patch, parrot, the works, and when challenged state that you "must have misread the flyer".
[Added: Err, I attribute this bit of unhinged thinking to the heady stench of herbal tincture I'm stewing in. At least, I think that's the reason...]