Friday, May 25, 2007

What Have I Become?

I was trudging to work this morning. It was cold. I had reached the bottom of the underwear draw this morning, so I had on that pair. The ones with the elastic that's just a tad perished. Consequently they were kind of falling down, and I had to keep hitching them up. My left shoulder was aching (where I broke my collarbone a couple of years back), as was my lower back. Suddenly my bones are now a more accurate barometer than the Channel 9 weather man. I was carrying a canvas tote. A "Big Christian Charity" freebie canvas tote. I think there was even muttering.

Somehow, it seems I am just one pair of support hose stockings away from being someone's loony grandmother.

9 comments:

Michael Guy said...

"that pair." Oh, Lordy...I've got a pair that I painted in once, er, like two years ago and got paint on them. They're all spotted and yet I STILL hold onto the damn shorts! So not cool.

This is it: I am tossing them out tomorrow. Or over the weekend. Actually they've stretched to a comfortable fit. I'm just saying.

Muttering is quite endearing, actually. Post monkey-sex. But ditch that 'big christian charity' tote. So last season, sweetie.

The Other Andrew said...

I know, I know. I still haven't been able to find matching shoes either.

Michael said...

Is there a tissue tucked under your watchband, dear? Check now.

The Other Andrew said...

No, in the sleeve of my cardie.

Michael Guy said...

YOU know what the real clincher is? If you start to smell 'medicine-y.' You know that smell that old people sorta have? That gel-capped vitamin odor? That one.

Does your cardie smell of moth balls? Just wondering. I actually kinda' like that smell. Reminds me of playing dress-up in clothes from the attic.

Okay. It was my mom's wedding gown crinolines. Happy with yourself now?

Michael said...

Medicine-y. Totally. And stale pee.

Kenyo said...

Instead of under shorts why not -- knit a jockstrap? Angora wool of course. You KNOW there's a pattern somewhere.

Craig said...

This was a great! image. You have me smiling.

How high was your waistband?

The Other Andrew said...

Kenyo, I linked to that exact article on my blog a few weeks back! I should get knitting...

Craig, armpit high of course!