All this talk of Valentine's Day and Fantasy Shags has me thinking about where I am at about relationships right now. I've posted a bit recently about wanting to date, about having interest from a couple of guys, and about feeling a bit more confident about things. About feeling more attractive.
It's interesting, because I'm feeling really relaxed about meeting someone. This is usually the time when it happens, right? When you give up the wanting, the needing, and think "eh, if it happens it would be nice". I'm not sure how or when the switch in my head was flicked, but I've definately had a change of attitude. I'm not sure where this sudden burst of confidence has come from, but I'm just going to run with it.
Originally uploaded by Other Andrew. Darling Harbour, Feb 11th 2006.
One thing that crosses my mind is that I've been depressed. Big "D" Depressed. It certainly would explain the sleeplessness and lethargy to a degree. If that's what it was, and I'm self-diagnosing here so I could be off the mark, it feels like past-tense. I mention that as an aside, because the important thing here is that I'm feeling good. Happy. More confident.
I'm sometimes too passive about meeting guys. Too hesitant to put my self-image on the line and ask someone out, too ready to sit back and wish for someone to make the first move. Too fearfull of rejection. I don't feel like that at the moment, I feel like throwing caution to the wind, and to not take it all too seriously, and just go out on a date. Dinner. Movies.
If anything comes of this, I'll keep you posted.