Friday, September 09, 2005

Learning Experiences

I had the oddest day today, one which taught me lots about expectations, assumptions, confrontation and frustration. Here is today's weirdness:
  • You know when you walk into a room and all conversation stops, and your first thought is 'Did I miss something?' When I walked into the office this morning, everyone was standing around, pushing in chairs and then heading back towards their desks, as if there had been an impromptu meeting. I didn't think much of it until one of my workmates asked my boss how he was and his answer was "Good, considering." Err, did I miss something?
  • My second run at a birthday lunch (moved from last week) with my work mates was cancelled, without anything much being said. I only sort of found out after the fact and was quite disappointed.
  • The office had a very tense, angry mood today and seemed to be particularly airless. Oh, and really busy.
  • When I went into the office kitchen this morning there was a birthday cake box in the fridge, and earlier in the week I had seen a wrapped present on my boss's desk. I though 'I wonder if they?...' Well, they didn't. The cake was left-overs brought in by one of the language teachers in the office next door and the present was for someone else. That's fine, but I very nearly made a fool of myself by gushing that they shouldn't have.
  • As I was getting on the train to come home tonight, a guy and girl were straggling a bit getting off the train and some passengers started to get on while they were trying to get off. This has happened to me a few times and it is mildly annoying. The guy lost it. Red faced, screaming, spittle flying. Weirdest thing was, I got on after they got off but I was nearest to him when he lost his shit, so I copped it. I just love having someone scream at me that I'm a fucking DICKHEAD!!!. Sure, I can be, but not in this instance.
  • I was crossing the street near my house on a zebra crossing a short while ago and missed getting run over by a car that didn't stop. Missed me by a couple of feet, and only because I had hesitated as I wasn't convinced he was slowing. I got angry.

So it was interesting. One thing my Buddhist practice has given me is a certain degree of mindfulness about what I'm thinking and consequently doing. So it was a crap day in some respects, but a day full of lessons that ultimately I am grateful for.

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