Wednesday, June 01, 2005

My Eyes, My Eyes!

Worst fake breasts, ever.


ME said...

OK, I don't watch "The Bold and the Beautiful" (anymore) but I have caught a few moments of the priceless return from the dead of this actress' character. First, it supposedly was a mannequin in her open casket funeral, but with the way she looks, you have to wonder if they buried the wrong one. It's been fun to watch all these terrible soap actors respond to seeing her resurrection, their confused reactions rendered almost genuine by the minimal resemblance of this woman to the Taylor they once knew.
Use sunscreen, exfoliate regularly, drink plenty of water and then call it a day, people! Age gracefully for chrissake unless of course you actually want your tits to look like two refugees from a Dali painting.
Consider the source of this advice, from deep in the heart of Homo-ville as it does, and heed it.
I'm out.

ME said...

Oh, and wear a sports bra, ladies, or you too will have the belly melons.....the tummy titties....

ME said...

However, if I ever notice that my chin drops right off to my chest with no discernible neck, I reserve the right to nip/tuck. Let's be reasonable.

The Other Andrew said...

You can never start too young with looking after your skin. I agree, avoid the sun especially, a simple cleanse and mosturise daily, plenty of water etc... I'd be tempted to seek the knife if the 'wattle' ever got out of control though! I think part of the problem with these women is that they get the fake tits and then lose waaaaay too much weight, so they end up with a pair melons on a bony chest without any fill-in fat (so to speak). Ewww.

Bodhi said...

Tit's not a good look
A decolletage Dali
of surreal realism!

Bodhi :-)
Sydney, Australia

The Other Andrew said...

The Other Andrew: All Haikus, All The Time!

Fake tits, oh fake tits
You went south, while I went north
Wicked hand of fate!

Fake tits, oh fake tits
At least you take attention
From my 'trout pout' lips.

Michael said...

Slowly drifting south,
they hover above my cooze.
Is crotch cleavage IN?

The Other Andrew said...

Um, you said 'cooze'... that's dirty that is!


Ron Moss isn't gay?
Otherwise he'd say, "Girlfriend,
Put those boys awaaaaay!"

Michael said...

Dirty AND monosyllabic!

only his lower jaw asks,
"Do you like my scarf?"