Monday, November 26, 2007

5 Hard Learnt Lessons From The Past Week

  • You cannot assume that you know what another person is thinking. Mixed messages can be sent out by all of us, even those of us with good intentions.
  • Buddhist concepts of impermanence, of non-self, the idea that everything changes from moment to moment and so there is no such thing as an unchangeable "I" or "Me" are important to remember. Especially in the realm of self-esteem. If you fixate on "I am this", "I am that" or "this thing makes me, me" and all the expectations that go along with those beliefs, then anything that doesn't fit that template can come as a blow.
  • Consequently, feeling you have been judged and found wanting hurts like a bitch.
  • As Mick said, you can't always get what you want.
  • Don't try and have a serious conversation after 5 beers, particularly if you feel defensive or under attack. It won't go well.

So, thanks for the kind words and well wishes everyone but Pete and I were not meant to be it seems. It's frustrating to me that I feel like we never really got a chance to get to know each other, but it is what it is. It was a fun experience for most of it, and on one level it was a nice reminder that being intimate with someone is really, really nice. Who was the poet that wrote the line "Always connect"? It feels nice to connect, even if that connection turns out to be only temporary.

11 comments:

thombeau said...

(((BIG HUGS)))

It may be a small consolation, but you are loved on the other side of the world...

The Other Andrew said...

Thanks pet, it's a HUGE consolation. :)

M-H said...

Ugh. I'm sorry to read this. Crap crap crap.

Single Guy said...

hang in there mate....sorry to hear about it. I need hope people can connect!

John C said...

Ack...that's sad. :(

And it was EM Forster, author of Maurice (of course) who said "Only connect"...

Look on the bright side, now John Howard has to go and clean toilets or something!

Quatrefoil said...

Sorry to hear that mate - I know how this feels. However, your friendships are pretty permanent - at least this one is. Let's hang out some time soon.

Cecilia said...

Sorry to hear it didn't work out.
:(

The Other Andrew said...

Thanks everyone!

John C, I had to smile at your John Howard comment. I must say, there are many of us who are finding the scale of his defeat somewhat consoling!

Michael said...

Hugs and kisses, liebchen...that linger....then we stare into each other's eyes....slight confusion lasts for but an instant as consolations boils over into

worldpeace and a speedboat said...

awwww... not fair.

as The Delightful Nanna says, life isn't fair. but still...

not fair!

*hug and kiss*

The Other Andrew said...

Thanks guys.

Michael, can I get a gift certificate for that? Something redeemable at a later date?

Speedy, thanks and big love to you and all the family!