I mentioned yesterday about feeling a bit blech, about being tired and having sinus & allergy symptoms. One thing kind of struck me this morning as I was doing the 20 minute trudge from the nearest train station to my office. This week - I feel old. Or older at least. I've been sleeping alright, but waking up still feeling tired. During my walks this week I've been noticing discomfort in my knees. This morning as I surveyed the bags under my eyes I briefly considered "Just how much is 'too much' to pay for a quality eye cream?". Trimming my beard this morning I noticed more greys, and looking at recent photos of myself I can see the ageing (and of late) the extra pounds.
I usually don't feel old, and I'm always passing for younger than 42, so everything from the forebrain on back knows that I'm doing alright for 42. Having said that, and knowing that this is a temporary psychological aberration, it's still a bit sobering. It's a wonderful lesson in ego grasping in particular.
Making new friends only to discover they are 13, 15 or 20 years younger is likewise a bit sobering. I remember the promise of being 29, 27, 22. Don't get me wrong, 42 is not ancient and decrepid, but I understand why people often have a crisis in their 40's. Aside from trying to accept the physical changes, it's also surveying the current state of affairs and thinking a) Is this it? and b) Where to from here? and c) Realistically, my options are being scaled back.
Yikes, this sounds maudlin. It's not meant to be.
Making peace with ageing is important I think, and a part of that is looking at it realistically and being truthful about it. I'm sure next week, with more sleep and an improved sinus situation, I'll feel less tired and ancient than I do this week, but it's also worthwhile to notice the physical changes of ageing and roll with the punches. That doesn't rule out fighting back however, I mean some of the eye creams on the market now are fabulous, right?