Friday, October 21, 2005

CostumeWatch 2005

Have you ever seen that movie, the one with Bette Midler I think, where the cops go to her apartment and think it has already been trashed by the thieves or murderers (or whatever), but she says "No, it's always like this"?... Well, that's kind of my situation right now. You see, I'm making a costume for the Trafalgar Dinner that I'm going to tomorrow night. A 19th C naval uniform. It's very pretty, but lots of work. 34 motherfunking brass buttons on the coat alone (and consequently the same number of a-hole buttonholes), and because I am a verchachte anal historical accurist I sewed the entire shirt by hand, and even did a minute hand rolled edge on the 'stock' of the shirt (the long bow tie thingie that men's 19th C shirts have - think Mr Darcy style), all like 13-14 feet of it...

Anyhoo, my point is you see (I do have one), I've been in The Zone. Now, when I'm in The Zone, well, bins go unemptied, the floor gets covered in snipped off threads and scraps of fabrics, and ::ouchfuckouch:: the occasional pin and needle make their way into the carpet, pizza boxes pile up (cooking just takes too much valuable time). However, I kind of like The Zone. The Zone allows for all sorts of bad behaviour. The Zone allows for unwashedness sometimes, for not answering the phone, for giving full reign to the obssessiveness that yes that button will have to come off and be done again because it's clearly 2mm out of line with its neighbours...

Is there a 12 step for this?

8 comments:

worldpeace and a speedboat said...

ooooohhh sweetie. now look, hand rolling the stock edge, sure, I'd be doing that too. very visible. but hand sewing the shirt? apart from the neck and cuffs where it's going to be seen?

masochist.

in the nicest possible way! ;)

word ver: seuarwxh. sewerwitch!

The Other Andrew said...

Yeah I know. I originally started hand sewing because my machine was snafu-ing a bit also, and then as it was such nice linen and I was getting off on how tiny I could make my handstitches... I need help. I actually did use a machine for the bits where the gathering was - because handsewing gathers, that much of a masocist I'm not. So there's like two machined bits on the shirt which I forgot about. I did not hand sew the coat though (but I'm still thinking of going over the buttonholes by hand eventually, because they look too obviously machined). HELP!

wingedman said...

Wunderbar! If we were stuck at a desert island after a horrific plane crash and I need a wound to be stitched, I'd know who to look for.

And MAN you're fucking anal. I say this in the best possible way. Go win the best dressed competition, honey!

worldpeace and a speedboat said...

glad to hear you didn't hand sew the coat. you know how clunky it all gets with heavy material and all that bulky shoulderiness. eugh. and you want to look like the smoothest, sassiest officer on deck my deah! ;)

buttonholes by hand. tmepting, but only when you've really got nothing better to do. otherwise... hmmm... picky picky!

Michael said...

Interesting. So as long as I kept implying you hadn't got it just right, you'd go all night, wouldn't you?

I'm sure you'll look fabulous, though, as the eventual pictures will attest.

The Other Andrew said...

Yes Michael, I get all 'that wasn't quite perfect, let's take it from the top again'... :-)

Wingedman, sounds like it's time for a game of 'Jack and Jun (or Boone, or Saywer...) get stranded on a desert island'.

yaniboy said...

The Bette Midler movie you referred to is 1987's Outrageous Fortune (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093690/) and the line you quoted is one that Bette says to Shelly Long's character...

I can't help it... I have pretty much all those cool 80's movie scripts committed to memory... Bette and Whoopi mostly...

Bodhi said...

Is there a 12 step for this?

Andrew, Andrew, Andrew. If there is an Obsessive Compulsive Perfectionist Anonymous, I am sure that you and your "Zone" well and truly qualify. Admission is the First Step bro, but methinks that you have a long way to go from there. As my Taoist mate Lao Tzu says, "The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step".

I hope you have really comfortable shoes.

And Wingedman; "And MAN your fucking anal". You beat me to that punchline (pun intended). I mean, hello!, yah!