Monday, September 11, 2006

No Bad Guy

On Sunday afternoon, after dancing around the edges of the topic for weeks and weeks, Morgan and I had a chat about our relationship and decided to call it quits as boyfriends. It's very sad and not how I would have liked things to go, but it's really more of a case of two people who are just at different places in their lives rather than anything overly negative or dramatic. I sort of alluded to the fact that I had worked my way through some of the expectations and disappointments in my life in a recent post, and I was alluding to this quite heavily. The important thing is that we are staying friends and there is no Bad Guy in this scenario. We're still very close and intend to stay that way.

I was kind of at odds with whether I should mention this, out of respect for Morgan's privacy. It's something that is important to me though and which has been colouring my behaviour, and what I have chosen to share (and sometimes omit) on this blog. Also, we started this relationship under the gaze of our respective blog audiences and the Flickr-ites, and so it ends the same way I guess. It seems to have a certain symmetry to it.

We're both feeling ok about it, which is the most important thing. The friendship aspect of the relationship is important to both of us and is pretty solid I think, so that hopefully gives us a foundation to move forward. These things always take some adjusting and renegotiating, changing gears, but I like to think of it as a way forward.

21 comments:

yaniboy said...

Awww... it's a shame... but on the upside, you finished it before it turned ugly...

*appropriate blog related hugs*

The timing seems so strange to me though, since I just blogged about my buddy J and his boy Monkey calling it quits for almost the exact same reason...

The Other Andrew said...

Thanks Yani. It's a tough equation to get right, not only do you have to like each other but you also have to be at a place in your life where you are receptive to it happening.

Ur-spo said...

Although it sounded as positive as a bust up could be, nevertheless it is a bust up - and therefore a sadness. I am sorry.

tigtog said...

Softie old me is always sad to see nice couples break up, and I'm glad you'll still be friends, Andrew. You seemed to enjoy being with each other for a while, and sometimes fond memories together and continuing friendship is its own happiness in the long run. You can vet each other's future boyfriends now :)

Sunshine said...

That's very sad to hear, Andrew. :( You've come across so happy since you started going out with him. But you know best. *hugz* :(

worldpeace and a speedboat said...

:(

tracey said...

I agree, no bad guy. You're both way too cool.

kris said...

*sniff* I'm sorry to hear it! I hope we can all still hang out together though. You guys are too fun and I'm glad you're still going to be friends.

Miss Eudoxia said...

You seem very positive given the situation, which is great. I think it is great when you can stay friends...and I wish you both loads of future happiness, even if it isn't always together.

Michael said...

Sorry, buddy. It's sad, but bright side is you had a great run, didn't you? That's the best part of living...savoring that when it comes along, for however long.

freakgirl said...

:: hugs to both of you ::

Q - 60's girl said...

i agree with the "certain symmetry" of deciding to post this entry.

you both have our love. peace "V"

The Other Andrew said...

Thanks everyone, you're all very sweet. Sometimes the right thing to do is not always what you want to happen, but it's still the right thing. It's sad but we can make something positive from it.

Michael Guy said...

I think you both illustrate a mature and adult relationship dynamic with acknowledging when to call it quits. I know this cannot be without heartache but seriously--no sense chewing a rubber steak 25 years later wondering how your life took 2nd place to your feelings. Does that make sense? I dunno. I'm sipping a glass of chardonnay and this is stream of consciousness.

You take care. You and Morgan both.

:: Hugs ::

The Other Andrew said...

Hugs right back at ya MG. ::mwah!::

dani said...

people and friendships change just like everything else....as long as the love is there no one needs to hurt.

love to you and morgan.

DV said...

yay for no bad guy and yay for being clever enough to meet him in the first place and yay for remaining friends!

Mindy said...

Oh the maturity! But when are you going to stop collecting lovely exes and keep one?

amy said...

What can I say that hasn't been said? You both are such amazing people, if anyone can make the whole 'we'll just be friends' thing work it's you guys.

And you better keep coming to SPB outings dammit!

(((bug hugs)))

Susoz said...

Hi Andrew, I hope we might still get to have dinner with you two sometime (I should post this at Morgan's too.)

The Other Andrew said...

Thanks again everyone, Morgan and I had dinner and a movie together last night and it was very nice. So no social difficulties there I'd say! :)