Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Shocked By The Power

Amongst all of the other things I like to think about myself, I like to think I'm hard to shock. If not unflappable, well then at least hard to flap. However I was being a total comment whore checking the comments on some of my previous posts, and the following comment from my friend Graeme about our night out on Friday stopped me dead in my tracks...
I was a bit worried about Andrew though - he's so mopey without a boyfriend. He *really, really* needs a boyfriend at the moment.

Which *really, really* surprised me. (BTW - this isn't a criticism of Graeme, just hang in there until I get to the point in my eccentric fashion.)

If you've ever been in a situation where you think you are giving off one sort of vibe, only to find out that people are getting something completely different, you'll know where I'm going with this. I felt pretty good on Friday, tired and a bit back-sore, but having fun being out with the boys. Enjoying myself. So I was kind of surprised and perturbed that Graeme thought I was mopey.

What's interesting to me is if there was a disconnect between how I think I'm acting, and how other people perceive me, you know? That's my point here. I generally feel like I'm a self aware person. Obviously nobody can control how other people perceive them, and everyone filters what they see through their own set of beliefs, assumptions and opinions. But a big disconnect like that is startling.

Or maybe I just think too much. :)


thombeau said...

Thinking too much is your blessing and your curse...

The Other Andrew said...

Ha! Really, because sometimes I think the real curse is to not think enough!! :)

Quatrefoil said...

It interests me that you think that his perception is right and yours wrong - that you actually were putting out a mopey vibe. I've learnt, sometimes the hard way, that my friends tend to filter their interpretation of me through their own experiences and moods, so maybe that's going on here. Just a thought.

Michael said...

I've had a similar experience to the point where a friend has said, "What's wrong?" when I thought everything was fine. It's jarring and then you start to question whether you're in denial or maybe that person is seeing what they want to see or....the hell?

Do you suppose that your buddy, who is probably only concerned with your happiness, read THIS on Thursday, and that colored his perception of you on Friday:

So, it's been a tough week. I don't know about you guys, but it's kind of easy to focus on the negatives during a week like this. You know? What starts out as being tired, sore and stressed at work ends up being why am I still single?, I feel fat, my living arrangement needs an overhaul, Australian Idol is really, really shit this year...

Ah, blogs!

Tyson said...

We all make some pretty hefty assumptions about how we are viewed. We spend all day with ourselves and it colours how we act and react. When someone witnesses one unique combination of your actions and makes an assumption that doesn't really align with how we think we ought to be viewed based on our whole reactions, it is a big shock. Sometimes it can be like you've got a whole lot to reassess.

It's past midnight. Apologies if that doesn't make sense.

I was intrigued by your home design post. Can you pick out a few images from those websites and show us what you want to achieve?

Kenyo said...

I almost think that post was just the teensiest bit mopey, perhaps. But I'm not saying it was for sure.

And then one might ask when there's some one the whole world loves and appreciates and dotes on as we do you TOA...what's to be mopey about?

As for finding a boyfriend, I always say, "I can have any man I please."

Sadly I seems I don't please any of them.

The Other Andrew said...

I don't feel mopey. Graeme and I talked about this last night a bit. I guess part of it was that I had such a good time that night, that to have some describe me as mopey was sort of, well, deflating I guess. Like I wasn't fun to be around, when I thought we were all having a good time.

Truth be told, I don't really think I was mopey and I'm interested in why Graeme thought I was.

Mikey (TLE) said...

I think Sarah (sorry quatrefoil) has it right.

For what it's worth (and I agree that Graeme only has your best interests at heart) I don't think you are mopey at the moment. Perhaps "present" is a better word.

I've said these sorts of things before, but I think back to the person you were (and the one I was, too) when I left for Hong Kong and the person you are now. You have come such a long way (as I hope, I have). Apart from your borderline obsession about people being late (grin) you are pretty hard to flap. There is a stillness or a calmness about you. If there is a boyfriend/mopey issue, it's because you are starting to take hold of your life again (as we all have to do regularly) and that is just a part of your life you are taking hold of.

And when taking hold of your life, I find it helps to use both hands. Gives you more grip...

The Other Andrew said...

Mikey, thanks. Ain't you sweet?!

Your comment reminded me of my favourite joke of the moment.

Q: What's the difference between pink and purple?

A: The grip.

Graeme said...

I never said you weren't fun to be around or not having a good time. You're never not fun to be with.

But you were intermittently mopey last Friday night. Mopey, reflective, a little forlorn at times. And not just that night but over a period of time.

And, for a lot of the night, you were lots of fun, up, happy, dancing etc. etc. etc.

It probably isn't worth worrying about if you don't feel you were feeling as I've described.

However I don't think it is helpful for people to automatically say that you should dismiss it because "friends tend to filter their interpretation..blah blah blah." It doesn't help much with knowing yourself or personal growth - it's just like blocking out stuff you don't want to hear/see/realise.

But, then again, if you don't want to hear/see/realise something - well, hey, whatever! I'm not here to judge you - you should know by now I just tell it like I see it.

Even if, to James' chagrin, I completely disagree with conclusions from people like Hugh Mackay ;-p

Now back to normal programming where everyone on the blog says fun, nice, giggly things and I'll slink happily back into my hole in the ground!