We are the Elite Designers. We design profound and beautiful furniture for those with wealth and taste. Which is why IKEA makes us furious, livid and angry. Do their designs live, breathe and growl? Are they born from tears of pain? Do they gently touch the bottom of the human soul? Pah! Of course not, no more than weeds can attract a bee. The big blue place is odious, its affordable design is sickeningly shallow and we loathe it even more than we loathe football. Please join us in our unqualified hatred.
Jeezalou, put down the cough syrup and get a grip on yourself. Who knew that it was the role of a side table to 'touch the bottom of the human soul'?
[Oh, and by the way I suspect the entire thing might just be somewhat tongue in cheek. I sure as hell hope so.]
2 comments:
Elite Designers against Ikea? oooooOOOH, I LIKE the idea. Now don't be to harsh on them Andrew, it can't be easy to make furniture that by its sheer ascetic beauty touches the very bottom of the human soul. Well, at the very least touches the very heart of one's Platinum card.
Elite to me conjurs images of Navy Seal type crack frontline troops. Except these guys will be in fashionable black Armani rather than wetsuits, will carry glossy designer catalogs rather than weapons, and have black Beemers rather than assualt craft.
Ikea is such a four letter word, it is WAR my friend. Maybe they could move onto Kmart (shudder) next. Talk about an Axis of Evil!
Viva la Revolution!
Bodhi :-)
Sydney Australia
They can take on Kmart for all they like, but leave Martha Stewart Everyday for Kmart(TM) out of it... poor Martha has suffered enough.
Mmmm, Navy Seals in black Armani.
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