Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Blah Dee Blah

It's been cold and raining here for about 4 days solid now. Oh sure, those of you who spend months a year shovelling your driveways are thinking "And, so what?", but 4 days of solid rain with just tiny breaks of not raining is taking its toll. I already posted about not really feeling ready for Winter, about really enjoying Summer this year. This rain has ushered in a mini dose of the blahs. Just a mini one.

Stress is playing a part maybe. While everywhere else seems damp, coincidentally work has dried up this week. Next week will be better I'm sure. IT WILL, RIGHT? It will. You know what, while I'm being honest I might as well add this thought, I fucked up. A year of great income and how I managed not to save money is beyond me. OK, I did clear some debt, but really not as much as I could or should have. I don't want to go back to that job, even with the money, because although it started ok it was a pretty toxic environment from around the start of the year onwards. Good riddance.

Morgan and I are still good, great in fact, but we're at that three month danger zone. The one were you start renegotiating things, where excitement starts to get tinged with reality. Maybe you spend a little less time telling each other how fabulous they are and start reacting to little perceived negatives. Do you know what I mean? It's not a bad time, but it's a noticeable change and that needs to be treated with care. It's the time when all the little stories we all make up constantly about why someone says or does something, or doesn't do something, what they are thinking or what their motivation is, are potentially dangerous.

I've been really busy at the Buddhist centre this week, and the next four or five days will be very busy too as we are hosting our spiritual head Lama Zopa Rinpoche and a few hundred students for a series of events. The bookshop I'll be running is expected to be busy. Frantic, no doubt.

So, the blahs. In some ways I think it's a bit of a standard response for me when things seem a bit too much. Parts shut own. The lights in the unused wing get turned off and the furniture covers are thrown over for the duration. I'm not depressed, I'm certain I'm not, it's far short of a visit from the Black Dog. Moody is maybe a better description.

This too shall pass. A successfull event over the weekend, some work next week, a few kind words and a bit of blue sky will fix it. Oh, and maybe a cupcake.

[Updated: Ok, if you write it, they will come. The work thing is sorted for the next six weeks now, I just got a call from my agency. Bad news, they wanted me to start tomorow which completely throws my plans for setting up the bookshop at the event on Friday into disarray. Cripes. I managed to negotiate a half day tomorrow, which lets me attend the official opening of the centre, but I need to be there all day on Friday. Crap. I'm grateful for the work, but c'mon people your timing sucks.]


Q - 60's girl said...

You will both manage this transitional period beautifully and with decorum i am sure : )

So far as the weather i will definitely be trying to bring some sunshine with me (despite the forecast) : ) : )

AND i am so the proud owner of two tickets to Robbie Williams - so very, VERY cool : ) : ) : )

dani said...

it could be the weather, the winter thing, the general hibernation impulses also make people more introspective contemplative. speak your truth, both of you, always.

Michael said...

OK, so that is your ticket to SIX WEEKS OF SAVING! (for our tickets to see Robbie this winter)

Michael said...

P.S. I'm busy taking pictures of my summer blooms. You know, to perk you up! Hang on a sec while I slip out of this t-shirt.....that's better. Windows wide open calls for boxers only, don't you think?

Michael Guy said...

It's 'global'...the mood thing. I've been faking a good mood since Sunday and today is what..Tuesday? I just don't feel 'right' Something is amiss. Something. But good for you...the new 6 week assignment.

And that three month relationship thang...just communicate. That's always the key. Talk. Don't second guess what the other is thinking. Just talk. No secrets.

Sunshine said...

I know what you mean by the 3 month danger period - Sam and I are still going through that - and we've been together for almost 2 years!

worldpeace and a speedboat said...

oooooooooooooooohhhh TOA, a few kind words, a few more kind words, a whole sentence of kind words, and here! look over here - a few more kind words.

I'd say 'pecker up' but that would only make me snigger.


seriously, feel better.