The Big Gay Bush Dance, Devonshire Tea and Angst.

Last weekend I headed down to Canberra for the annual gay Bush Dance. The last time I went to the Bush Dance was 2 years ago, and I had an absolute blast. This year I drove down with my friends David and Robert on Saturday morning, to meet up other friends Colin, John and Derek who had arrived on Friday night.

I loved this Goulburn Evening Penny Post building.

It's around a 3 hour trip from Sydney to Canberra, and David, Robert and I decided to break the journey late morning for a stop over in historic Goulburn. First impressions of Goulburn were just how neat and clean it was (including the public lavs, which after a few hours in the car were most welcome), but also just how dry it seemed. The public gardens were still in pretty good shape, if not a bit wilted in the heat. Goulburn has actually run out of water at times and had to truck water in. Pretty amazing considering it's a fairly large regional centre.

Nom nom.

As it was late morning and travelling is hungry, thirsty work, we stopped off at a cafe for some morning tea. I'm a sucker for a scone with jam and cream, so once I spotted the 'Devonshire Tea' all else faded from view. It was a most pleasant little interlude. At one point I noticed a sign over the station where they had bottles of water for the table and glassware encouraging patrons to only take what they need, as water is a 'precious resource'. Further evidence of Goulburn's situation.

Derek and I. OMG, so handsome. (Derek's not bad either!)

Once we arrived I checked into the hotel with Derek, John and Colin, and David and Robert headed off to stay with friends. The rest of the afternoon was spent on a little shopping spree (2 pairs of new work trousers for $40!, thank you Target sale), some napping and then pre-dance nibbles and beers.

The bush dance was lots of fun, although I had a few low spots during the evening. Don't ask me why, but sometimes I think way too much. One of Derek's friends is wont to make casual cracks about short people, which normally slide right off me as my height has never been an issue that bothers me. Maybe it was that one too many that broke the camel's back, but at one point during the evening I got really annoyed.

Derek and I have been seeing each other for a little while, and although we haven't even discussed what it means and if we consider each other boyfriend material, I guess I'm at that point where the approval of his friends matters to me. Plus I just think it's really rude to make remarks like that in the presence of someone that might take offense, even though it's possible that he doesn't do it to be intentionally hurtfull. Derek and his friends do have a lot of back and forwards banter, so maybe on one level I should read it as a sign of acceptance? Anyway. like I said, way too much of the thinking.

All in all though a good weekend but I came home to find the crushing news that my temp agency isn't likely to have any work for me until the 18th of December at the earliest, and that there are currently no additional shifts available at my 2 day a week job at the yarn store. I love the yarn store job but it pays poorly, so in the lead up to Christmas I'm staring down the barrell of not being able to even make my rent for the next 2-3 weeks. Christmas travel plans have been shelved and I've spoken to my family about basically ignoring Christmas this year. I'll send gifts over for my 2 nephews, but unless something suddenly appears on the work front that will be it.

I'm so mad at myself for landing myself in this situation. I saw the possibility of it looming as my other temp assignment drew to a close, and I knew that being committed 2 days a week at the yarn store would make other temp work hard to find. Frankly I love the job at the yarn store too much to give it up, but it's killing my chances of other on-going temp assignments. The yarn store is opening a new store in my neighbourhood, so there are potential improved job prospects there, but that might just squeak in by year's end rather than in the next week or so.

So, not the cheeriest of blog posts but I feel like it's best to be honest about what's going on my life right now. I've held off writing about this because I knew it would turn into a downer, but there you have it. Uncertainty and small crises of confidence seem to be the order of the day. Cue a desire to take to bed and pull the covers over my head, but I'm determined not to give in to this natural inclination.