While I was out this morning I picked up a copy of a 'best of' Jimmy Somerville CD (from the Bronski Beat and The Communards era) and have been listening to Jimmy's sweet falsetto ever since.
From the bitter sweet start of "Small Town Boy" I'm suddenly 19 again, lying on Gary's bed in his cold and dingy bedroom while he tells me what it's like to be young and queer in his small home town in England, and that he loves me. Gary had a 12" vinyl single which he would play over and over again and would sometimes cry along with. I'm so in love with him I feel electrified.
Fast forward a couple of years and a few tracks on the CD and Gary has moved on to be with someone else. I'm single, fairly happy most of time, and in particular I'm dancing my heart out at a bar called the Mars Bar in my old home town of Adelaide while Jimmy is singing "Tell Me Why". Can you tell me whyyyyyyy? It's likely that I'm also trying for the thousandth unsuccessful time to get my big unrequited crush Steve to dance with me. (RIP sweetie, I miss you and I'm sorry that I missed your passing.) Some men just won't dance, no matter how sweetly you ask them.
So it has been a bitter sweet afternoon. I've smiled a lot and cried a little. I've thought of past loves and lost friends, but I've also remembered transcendant nights on the dancefloor and big great loves. Thanks Jimmy, I owe you one.