Recently I've been listening to teachings and doing meditations on impermanence, one of the more important teachings in Buddhism and an important part of the Buddhist course I have been doing.
Quite suddenly I've been presented with an opportunity to reflect on this at close range, to feel the emotional ebb and flow of how I respond to major change and importantly to see how different it feels. It looks like three people very close to me are all about to head off on paths that will take them away.
Today my good friend (and ex-boyfriend) Steven heads off to Brisbane to live. I'll miss him but most importantly I feel happy for him that he has decided to take his life by the horns, to leave the job he hated, and to make a positive step towards re-connecting with his family.
In about four weeks time my friend, and room mate, Narelle heads off to Canberra to live. It's a positive move for her career, she'll earn more and save more, and she'll be moving in with her best friend. So likewise, this is a great move for her.
Last week I heard that my close friend of 27 years has been offered a job in Korea for a minimum of two years. He's heading over with his girlfriend this weekend to see what Korea is like, to find out if his girlfriend will be able to work there, and then to ultimately make his decision. If he accepts he'll be gone by month end. My first reaction... "No, you can't!!".
However, it didn't take too much reflection for me to see the grasping, the attachment, the ego involved in my reaction. All three are moving towards great opportunities, exciting life experiences and opportunities for great personal growth. So I'm at peace.
Frankly, I've surprised myself. A year ago I would be on a depressive spiral, feeling overwhelmed by these friends moving away, by having to find a new room mate, by fears of loneliness. It seems that I'm changing too.