Subject: You may want to read this
Me: Yeah, I saw it earlier today.
Mikey: You filthy disgusting worm with no respect...
Mikey: In other news, Ryan Phillipe and Reese Witherspoon have split, so Ryan is on the market again and that's good...
Me: Oddly, I thought of you when I read that.
Mikey: I don't think that's odd. I have been mistaken in the street for Ryan many times.
Me: Err, RIGHT.
Mikey: Yes, odd that they all seemed to be carrying canes, walking dogs and wearing dark glasses. I presumed they were all from some sort of weird religious cult which worshipped the "54" star.
Me: The 5'4" star? Hey, that's me!
Mikey: 5'4"... sure?
Me: What, you think I'm tinier than that? Or bigger? Bigger, right? It's on account of the huge personality, I get that all the time.
Mikey: I plead the common law privilege against self-incrimination...